I live in Silicon Valley, play with lots of gadgets, and love to go out. There's a lot more to say, and you can see it over at my personal web page at www.jamiefaye.com/.
I've been kicking around the transgender community for about eight years. As a witness to many transgender events, I have learned much and have developed ideas and opinions on how our community can develop. I tend to be very gentle, indirect, and avoid bashing.
Gals who like to go out may know me and my passion for dancing. I enjoy going to transgender events and partying, and always delight in meeting tgforum girls. Cindy, Joann, and I will be at Southern Comfort 2000. We will throw a party -- check in with one of us there for details.
Over the next few months, I'll be talking about a number of issues, but a thriving column depends upon its readers. Here are some of the things I'm interested in, so if you have any suggestions related to them (or anything else), send them to me!
The transgender future. The co-evolution of sex and gender. Dancing. Sexuality. The transgender community and its future growth and development. Philanthropy. Spirituality. Transgender cyberspace. Trains. Science and technology.
Anyway, let us tackle an issue to get things started.
Kate Bornstein describes the tensions in the transgender community well when she wrote about:
"Post-ops, who look down on Pre-ops, who in turn look down on Transgenderists, who can't abide She-males, who snub the Drag-Queens, who laugh about the Out TVs, who pity the Closet Cases, who mock the..."
In the years since Gender Outlaw, matters have improved. However, at the bottom of the heap remain the Admirers. Every one likes to dump on them. Tranny-chasers, T-Birds we call them. Every town has them and their legends.
Only a few deserve it though.
What is wrong about being attracted to a transgender person? Gay, lesbian, and bisexual orientations have all become acceptable. As transgenders, we are as mysterious and wonderful as anyone, and have unique gifts.
I have had the pleasure of meeting and knowing people of all sexes and genders who have in common an attraction to someone transgender. Many are transgender themselves, and I know of many TG couples who are extremely happy.
Why then the stereotype of the self-loathing wolf?
Many men (and transgender women) arouse quickly, so they tend to get right down to business, which helps explain the wolf. The self-loathing comes from shame about being different and for desiring someone who is different.
There is no reason for shame -- we are all worthy of our love. Admirers of TG people deserve the same respect and consideration that we are learning to grant gays, lesbians, straights, and everyone else. While the issue of manners must come up, I believe the answer is for all of us to improve.
Will an identity-political movement for admirers emerge someday? We need one. For a start, lets acknowledge that many of us are attracted to others of our nature and that it is glorious.